He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
