No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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