Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
