This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
