his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
