She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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