Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
