I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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