You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
