Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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