I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
