Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
