U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
