I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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