but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
high people should be assigned attendants
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
