Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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