Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
