We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My pussy is not your playground.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
