Kiss
Puke
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
