If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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