im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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