i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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