I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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