The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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