Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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