I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
