I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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