dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think your dad took our porno
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
