Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
