I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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