It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
