We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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