This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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