You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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