ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My friends, they love my intelligence
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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