i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
birth control should be required to get into college
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
