would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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