...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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