ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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