Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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