Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
