so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
