I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
