i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Randomize
