are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
