I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
