Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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