I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
