so let's talk penis.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
