Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
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