That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
