I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
