i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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