trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
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i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
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Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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