I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I supernannyed him into submission
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize