No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
