i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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