Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
