im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
