no. you can't hotbox the world.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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