You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
