Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
