Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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