hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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