She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning