I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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