fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
I just googled if crying burns calories
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus