ADVERTISEMENT

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.

  Fav 140 3354 973

  share tweet
  

• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.

  Fav 81 5419 1443

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer

  Fav 10 1143 4716

  share tweet
  

• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?

  Fav 26 4360 1169

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave

  Fav 45 5867 1093

  share tweet
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.

  Fav 5 3035 1957

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.

  Fav 7 3794 1308

  share tweet
  

• (816): View more from Missouri

  critical mistake not lubing the nipples

  Fav 13 961 2954

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.

  Fav 11 4719 956

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+61): View more from Australia

  can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room

  Fav 10 3163 1209

  share tweet
  

• (647): View more from Ontario

  we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.

  Fav 6 3287 1006

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (303): View more from Colorado

  Cops are just so fun an beautifuk

  Fav 2 887 646

  share tweet
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.

  Fav 1 623 1183

  share tweet
  

• (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.

  Fav 2 646 540

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (417): View more from Missouri

  STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.

  Fav 1 134 209

  share tweet
  

Randomize