Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
