do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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