sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend