Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever

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  (707): I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever http://tfl.nu/38jn
  Replies (51) Good night (6636) Bad night (825)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go

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  (214): Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go http://tfl.nu/uzsa
  Replies (27) Good night (5463) Bad night (1453)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before

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  (615): You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before http://tfl.nu/c77w
  Replies (37) Good night (2069) Bad night (5954)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.

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  (989): Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me. http://tfl.nu/zahg
  Replies (14) Good night (9155) Bad night (1049)
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  (408): View more from California

  You make shower sex sound like waterboarding

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  (408): You make shower sex sound like waterboarding http://tfl.nu/cy83
  Replies (28) Good night (3589) Bad night (2730)
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  (03): View more from

  you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!

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  (03): you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!! http://tfl.nu/e67e
  Replies (18) Good night (7166) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.

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  (773): Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up. http://tfl.nu/ll85
  Replies (7) Good night (6159) Bad night (1383)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.

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  (906): I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap. http://tfl.nu/cxzw
  Replies (5) Good night (1938) Bad night (2867)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.

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  (907): If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever. http://tfl.nu/sogf
  Replies (29) Good night (1372) Bad night (4036)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.

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  (970): I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed. http://tfl.nu/hmgx
  Replies (10) Good night (644) Bad night (1613)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto

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  (215): i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto http://tfl.nu/4zou
  Replies (6) Good night (539) Bad night (855)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want to like rub my face on his abs

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need help

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  (610): I just want to like rub my face on his abs (610): I need help http://tfl.nu/fsti
  Replies (2) Good night (994) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.

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  (785): Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle. http://tfl.nu/joqk
  Replies (0) Good night (509) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....

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  (248): It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory.... http://tfl.nu/ewu1
  Replies (4) Good night (525) Bad night (918)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.

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  (928): He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school. http://tfl.nu/sa5d
  Replies (1) Good night (759) Bad night (352)

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