once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I supernannyed him into submission
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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