You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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