you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We got so high we made milksteak
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
